"Is it necessary that our aesthetics and ethics are wedded as such? Does this play an important role in our society, such as in courtship? If we overlook our spouses bad qualities because of his strong chin or her curvy waist, isn't that natural selection at work, which is "good" for us as a species? Is it necessary?"
Aesthetics is necessary with regards to natural selection. In fact, many animals use their aesthetic qualities in order to attract mates. Take the peacock for example, who spreads it's beautiful expanse of feathers in hopes of drawing the attention of the female. Is it necessary? Well, noticing the aesthetic value of a person/object/etc.is instinctual. It's part of human nature, and nature in general. However, while we as humans are drawn to those things we find beautiful, it is not always the most important factor in choosing a mate.
Perhaps if a stranger to the pretty girl saw her litter, they may let it slide. However, people who knew her may have had a different reaction.
So yes, it is necessary. In order for one to be drawn to something, it must be aesthetically desirable to them. However, once you get past the aesthetic value of something, there are many other contributing factors. At first it may be possible to overlook someone's bad qualities because of their good nose, but eventually, they will get to you.
Like my mother always says, beauty is only skin deep.
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